How do you feel when you lie?

How time flies, I remember this last week Friday (12.05.2023), I had registered for a STUBE (Studienbegleitprogramm) weekend seminar on Gender equality from a global perspective in Goslar (Lower Saxony) about two weeks before. They sent a mail asking if I would take part in the seminal and I responded in the affirmative. Another mail came asking for confirmation and since I had expressed my interest the first time, I did not bother to read the second email.
And then, I became very busy with lab work and other things that I decided not to go to the seminar. I, however, did not inform the organizer that I would not be coming and as such, all preparations had been made for my attendance. In the middle of my work in the evening at home, I received a call from the organizer asking if I was on my way to the seminar.
I hesitated a little and replied with ‘’yes I am on my way’’. He sounded happy and said ‘’See you soon’’. I immediately felt bad that I lied to him. How will he feel if I did not show up to the seminar? What will I tell him if he calls back? I am sure he would feel so disappointed, especially because I lied to him that I was on my way. This made me feel very sad. No wonder lie is studied to be highly associated with negative emotions.
But I had to leave this state of sadness that I imposed on myself. Staying at home definitely would not help because I am sure he would call back and I would have to tell another lie. I quickly packed my backpack (within 5 minutes), checked the next train, and took the next bus to the train station within 15 minutes.
I checked the duration of my journey, it would take me 4 hours to get to Goslar from where I live. I did not mind because I was supposed to have been on my way anyways. So, I messaged him that I will get to the seminar at 10 pm and I did.
On my way, I decided to read the second email on the train and I saw that other students were on the waiting list for this seminar. The arrangement made for my attendance would have been a waste if I didn’t show up. That would have made me even sadder.
I however felt good as I got on the train. It is better late than never as a popular adage says. There were lots of people on the train. It was as if everyone was travelling but it was a smooth journey.
I made the right decision to attend the seminar. First, I felt happy that I did not have to tell another lie to cover my previous lie. Second, I never knew that I could be spontaneous. I have always been a ‘’planning’’ type of person but my intuition on Friday made me discover that I am more than that. Third, I could stay off my comfort zone. Yes, I was at home and busy with schoolwork, but I could get out of that zone and do something else and I am glad I did.
Well, the seminar was indeed a great one. I did not regret attending it at all. The location was super and the weather was great throughout our stay. I took a moment just lying down on the lawn and enjoying nature as everywhere seem green. Taking a moment out in nature is healthy for everyone.

The topic of the seminar ‘’Gender inequality on a global perspective’’ is broad and different people have different opinions. Some people argue that the attention given to females could render our male counterparts incapable at some points. Other people argued that gender inequality is natural because different genders have different roles in societies. In my opinion, Gender inequality is a global issue that needs continuous attention, especially in developing countries. I will, however, write extensively on this topic in my next post.
One last thing, I told the organizer I initially lied about attending the seminar, he laughed and was pleased to hear that I did not regret attending the event.
Have you ever lied?
How did you feel when you lied and what did you do to make yourself better?