I remember how I fought bullies when I was 10 years old.
Since I was young, I have had a tendency to refuse to be bullied. I probably inherited the courage from my parents because Adenike, when she was small, wouldn’t stand to be bullied and would fight with all her might. Two girls would always pick on me in primary school. Despite my warnings, they refused to stop. One day, when my aunt was not around, they came to my aunt’s shop and beat me up. Since they outnumbered me, I couldn’t handle them. I was hurt but didn’t tell anyone. The next day after school, I observed their routine. They would fetch water every afternoon, carrying buckets on their heads. In low-income communities in Nigeria, we always have water on our heads using buckets.
Armed with a cane similar to the one my uncle used for discipline, I waited for them to return with their water-filled buckets. When they did, I approached them and unleashed my anger. I gave them a thrashing they wouldn’t forget. At first, they were stunned, unsure how to react, but the memory of their attack on me fueled my determination. As I continued to lash out, they panicked, spilling their water as they fled. But I wasn’t done; I chased after them, continuing to deliver a beating. The bystanders who witnessed the scene were amazed at how the tables had turned. From that day on, those girls never bullied me again. Even now, I can’t help but laugh when I think about how I stood up to them.
Reflecting on this incident now, with the benefit of hindsight and maturity, I realize that while my actions effectively stopped the bullying, they weren’t necessarily the right approach. Bullying is a serious issue that can leave deep emotional scars, not just for the victim but for the bully as well. When someone bullies another person, they inflict harm that goes beyond physical pain, they damage self-esteem, create an environment of fear, and contribute to a culture of violence and mistrust.
By responding to bullying, as I did, I unwittingly perpetuated the same cycle of aggression that the bullies started. While it’s natural to want to defend oneself, it’s important to remember that there are more constructive ways to handle such situations. Seeking help from a trusted adult, like a teacher or family member, can provide the support needed to address the issue without resorting to violence. It’s also crucial to understand that bullies often act out of their own insecurities, fears, or personal struggles. Sometimes, they deal with problems at home or within themselves, expressing their frustration by targeting others. None of these should make them come for you, so you must speak up as soon as possible. Importantly, talk to your parents and never conceal any information from them.
Breaking the cycle of bullying requires more than just standing up for oneself. It requires a commitment to understanding, compassion, and finding peaceful resolutions. True courage isn’t just about fighting back; it’s about choosing the right way to handle difficult situations, even when challenging. It’s about recognizing that everyone, even bullies, has a story and that sometimes, the best way to stop bullying is to address the root causes rather than simply responding with force.
Even though I was glad that I stood up to them, I might choose a different approach in the future. I could seek help, confront my bullies with words instead of resorting to physical confrontation, and try to understand why they felt the need to pick on me in the first place. That intense experience taught me that standing up for myself is crucial, and I would not disappoint myself in that aspect of my life. It also taught me the value of finding better, more constructive ways to resolve conflicts. I now communicate more with people and have mentors whom I am fortunate to confide in. How have you responded to bullying? Share your story.
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